Saturday, December 21, 2013

winter wonders

  I had wanted to write this post last night, as the last bits of snowy slush melted away, but the internet was acting funny and wouldn't let me... So here I am writing now... Yesterday we woke to the prettiest white blanket of snow. I love the way snow casts a surreal illumination to everything. Even before the sun came up, I could tell it had snowed from the whiteness pouring in through the kitchen windows.
   I have to be honest, this fall has been difficult in the money dept. I always feel a little pressure when the weather turns colder and I have to start turning on the heat. The gas and electric bills goes way up in the fall and winter and being mostly the only contributing parent (My littlest one's papa does his part) is hard. Then there's the added expectations of holiday gifts etc and it makes it difficult for me to breathe in the yuletide cheer and really enjoy the holidays. I think about money (or the lack of it) a lot. My little one is happy with the found objects and thrifted treasures I give but my teenager has loftier yearnings and his birthday is on Dec 24th and he's planned a double date teen birthday, movie pizza thing-not free, I get to pay... He doesn't read my blog so I can say that,man,  teens want a lot of STUFF.  I'm at the tail end of a nasty cold, maybe flu, and I just wanna hole up with tea and season 6 of gilmore girls and just melt into my bed and not worry about paying for things at all.
   Winter is super pioneer time around here. brr, our drafty, cold house, lotsa layers and sweaters and acorn socks on all the time! I am grateful for all that we have and don't really want more (stuff wise),  I just want a little more free time and the ability to relax and enjoy that free time in the outdoors with my kids. The cost of things in this city keep going up while my job is getting more competitive and the money I make less and less. I'm exploring back to school options for myself and concentrating on the aspects of my work that are doing well. Of all the different avenues my work goes down, online seems to be doing the best, yet last year that was not the case. The tides are ever changing and I need to develop new ways of working or anticipating the changes before they are upon me, I don't want to feel this wave of intense financial pressure. I want to sail smoothly across a balance.
 ahhh, there's the snow I spoke of before I got sidetracked into a little $$$ tizzy. See, pretty! So good!
 So pretty that I had to make some gingerbread, even though it was really heavy on the molasses tip and the loaf came out very black and I was the only one who was into it.
 And my older chicken Sadie, who hasn't laid an egg in months was so moved she gave us a little blue egg as a gift for our Solstice snow day. 
Here's my gal smooshing at her gingerbread. Not really eating it but pulverizing it into smithereens. This evening and all day tomorrow, until the double date teen party, is for making treats and knitting and easing into the winter vibes and looking up into the sky with wonder and open-ness. Letting go of my apprehension and worrisome nature and embracing the icy chill and encouraging the hibernating ideas in my mind.  xo m

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