negative creep

  My son reminded me that today Kurt Cobain would've been 47. I've been sick and not going to work (ie driving around thrifting etc) or I would've known cuz the local radio station (KEXP) makes a big deal about Kurt's birthday and it's like musical grunge Christmas party all day long.
  The other day my friend was telling me she heard these tourists on the bus talking about Seattle people and saying "Oh yeah, people are really unfriendly here and they all LOVE Kurt Cobain. Like, don't even joke about not liking him or they'll attack you or something." hahaha.
  Growing up in sunny Southern California, Seattle seemed like the perfect gloomy, dream city to my teenage self. And in my little black, baby-goth/grunge heart Kurt was king.

 My what a handsome man, just the right amount of scruffy, un-prettiness, and those blue eyes... Yeah, yeah, I like the music, love it to death, but I cannot lie, Kurt was a fox!

  When I was 15, I "dated" a lame, narcissistic, 20-something jerk named Joey pretty much for his Kurt Cobain pink hair (plus LOSER t-shirt, flannel, ripped jeans, cigarettes and stubble). Joey worked at THE cool record store and would give me sub pop singles and albums...

   I moved to the Pacific Northwest in 1993, as soon as I graduated. My high school boyfriend didn't want to move to Seattle (I realize now, cuz I was drooling and always going on and on about how dreamy Kurt Cobain, Mark Arm, Chris Cornell and Andrew Wood were) so we ended up in Salem Oregon and then Portland... I finally ended up in Seattle in 1997.

   A good friend of mine ended up marrying a man who had been close friends with Kurt and for the first few years of their marriage I would have to bite my tongue to keep from asking way too many questions about Kurt, Courtney and those magical grunge years that I'd been too young to properly enjoy. 

  I remember how magical it felt to hear "Bleach" for the first time. A cassette I bought at a sketchy head shop based on the cover art (and that it was on sub pop). It was like metal, but SO MUCH better.  I played it over and over, carried it in my purse so I could play it in friends cars until it finally got stuck in some guys tape deck and became fatally shredded when I tore it out. Happy Birthday Kurt. xo m