Sunday, December 21, 2014


  I am sniffling, and dripping elderberry syrup into my mouth by the hour. A teaspoon an hour, every hour, until it starts to dissipate. Picked up some cold germs. Oh the perils of our Northwestern Clime.
 And, Oh hello, my dears... Where have I been for over a month or more. Away on a marvelous vacation? Alas, sadly, no. I was sliding down the rabbit hole of (gasp...) online dating. That world is a little depressing. I mean, it's what people do, right? I do everything else online, work, shop etc, why not pursue dating. It's just, unromantic and really, it's looking for a needle in a haystack (A haystack that is really one of those gigantic trash islands floating around in the middle of the ocean). Chills... I have reached my limit. I'm too sensitive. I have decided that every time I think about a boy or boys I have to do 10 squats (My friend told me about a couple she knows who have to do 10 squats every time they say something negative...well they are super in shape now and don't say negative things as much). I'm getting a gym membership and have to write nightly instead of wasting precious time scrolling through profiles and sifting through bad/boring/creepy messages. I'm done. Back to the nunnery. It's cool. Really. Can't force that kind of magic. I mean you can... But that's a whole nother post titled "don't fool w the dark arts"... I'll be fine. Just retiring my winsome dreams of eating ice cream in bed w anyone this winter... I have Viggo Mortensen, He's the perfect 6lb bed buddy.
 oh heyyyyyy, my dog is ridiculous!! Little bat faced Mr Tiny Body... Big attitude on this gem, I named him rightly.
 Gloom has set in. I dig it, it's good. I pretend I'm in a Swedish film, quietly, walking through the darkness and drizzle. In my head, I'm writing words for passages in my Vamp Book or bits of memoir (this month alone I have begun 3 chapters for a new collection of personal stories...), wait, I have been writing! But I can write more.
 I sew, my machine is broken, so it's entirely by hand, which I enjoy. Very slow, thoughtful, meditative. It connects me to my favorite times. Puritan, Victorian, Depression Era. Oh woe is me, I'm sitting by the firelight stitching away and drawn into a historic circle of sisterhood, women who stitched at night by candlelight, after the babes had fallen asleep. Oh! Please excuse me, While I let out my hens! They will be so cross as It's after 10am... I'm such  a lazy farm mistress today!...
 My nightly tarot readings continue. Getting more acquainted with this beautiful deck and open to the guidance I get. I usually post my readings (right now, I'm fond of doing a 7 card layout) on my instagram.  I feel like I get a really solid picture of what my path is by practicing this divination nightly. The same cards come up, again and again. See. Understand. Hear this... It's beautiful and a magical connection to the other lands that I can hold in my human hands. I treasure my cards.
  When I read tarot, I think about my intention. I draw the cards with intention. This practice has overlapped into every moment of everything I do. How can I pursue this with intention? Harness my feeling in the moment and feel my path, shine and remain free from distracting feelings that aren't always accurate. My beautiful lady friend of nearly 20 years texted me this morning "Just move in your light n live n try to be distant if it's possible" good advice (especially to the lovelorn).
  Tonight is Winter Solstice. After I attend a party with my babes, where most will be tipsy from too much mulled wine, I will come home and write down a list of all my intentions. A fresh manifestation to be wrapped in red ribbon and set to shine in the light of the moon. Always write intentions in the present tense as if they are already happening. 
  And now I need to squeeze Viggo into his little lilac, cashmere sweater vest. Another teaspoon of elderberry syrup. Off to walk on this chilly morning and treat myself with a little black gold-caffeine. It is Winter Solstice. I am. and continue to be. I will live with bright intention. xo m

No comments:

Post a Comment

please leave a comment, I usually respond within the comments section. thank you for reading.