tigress...

  I was born in 1974. Year of the Tiger. I have always felt such an affinity for cats of all kinds but the tiger is my cat of dreams. My fiery spirit animal. I channel Tiger energy in moments when I require strength. Lately my inner Tigress has been wide awake and roaring all day long.

   Last year my daughter entered kindergarten at a private school. The admissions process was long, exhausting and we were lucky enough to receive a scholarship. I don't want to get into too many details (out of respect for the families involved) but my daughter is being bullied by another little girl in her class. This began from the start of school last year and has only gotten worse. I feel like the teacher (who is new to the school) is, somewhat, minimizing my concerns. I'm meeting with the teachers tomorrow, then going to the head of school to talk about the situation. We are already evaluating other options and considering homeschooling until next year if need be. I am in full Tigress mode: awake, active, fierce, commanding... My concerns are valid and I won't be pacified until a positive resolution is reached.

    There were a few instances of bullying when my son was younger but at bigger (public) schools, it was easier for my son to avoid kids that were being less than kind. Luckily, I felt that the teachers and administration took things very seriously and had defined protocols in place. In a intimate private school setting it seems harder to deal with. Classes are smaller and there is only one class per grade.
If my daughter stays at this school, she will be in the same class with this girl every single year...

   I watch over my children carefully, gathering details, observing moments. My childhood was not a comforting, safe place. I know what misery looks like and it's a place I never want my children to live in. I seek to support, protect, encourage joy and find the best possible environment for my young ones.It's not an option to settle for anything less than ideal.
  I hardly slept this weekend, have knots in my stomach and feel so distracted form all my other life demands. I just want my little girl to feel happy, safe. And she does not.  I will be going into the meeting tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully there is a positive outcome. Trying to do my best to feeeeel optimistic but my gut is telling me to pull her out of there and then figure out the next step... xo m

outside

   Here's an example of the typical shenanigans that happen every time I try to do some etsy pictures. My little one loves dressing up in finery and wrangling/tormenting the hens. A 3 foot fence worked fine for the big chickens but the tinier gals get over that no problem so we'll be reinforcing a few spots with taller fencing so we can have our chicken free yard again.

  It is 85 degrees and muggy as heck today. I'm counting the days till we get outta the city and into the trees by the sea. I really can't wait! xo m

allergies & asthma

   Oh my dear sweet girl... My little one has all sorts of allergies. Peanuts & sesame seeds are anaphylactic, then there's dust, cats, pollen, all grasses. She's sensitive to any artificial scents and soooo many foods. After a major asthma attack that had her in the hospital, I started her on what they said would work (singulaie & flovent), and it did... and then, the side effects started... I didn't even realize the problems could be related to her meds until today. I thought she's just been acting out these last ten months (and she started these meds right at the time her papa moved out so I attributed her behavior to the breakup...).

  I look forward to getting her back on a more natural path and finding relief without nasty mind altering drugs that change her into a mini monster. What have you tried that has helped with asthma & allergies? I'd love to hear about it. xo m

sunshine & cake

  My little lady's birthday week was full of so many sunny days 2 (!) amazing cakes and 1 awesome party. It was a lovely collection of moments and it all filled me with gratitude for the amazing community of friends we have. I feel so very lucky and loved.

 No party is complete without a pillow fight of a prancing fairy!!

Now back to the work week and dreams of future adventures. Summer is right around the corner and there are so many wonderful things coming up with my shop and a trip or two... plus more seedlings to get in the ground. I do love this sun!! xo m

4!

  Today, this girl is four years old! And all the ways that I imagined she would be are happening NOW! She is a little hurricane, a true force of nature, so confident, in the present and secure. She is very convinced that this is her world and we are all just here to assist her, as she needs. She loves animals and fairies and nature. She is my constant companion and every day I love her more.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl! xo m

with the spring comes a world of choices...

  My little gal was so excited on Friday (her birthday party was Saturday). She kept saying "OH, it's so hard to wait!!" all day and then it was extremely difficult to get to sleep Friday night. I remember feeling that way, really knowing and understanding and showing how important growing older is.  It's real magical and should be celebrated with friends, food and cake.

   I whipped up some amazing gluten free caramel cupcakes thanks to the Blackbird Bakery Gluten Free cookbook. Oh my, the recipes are dangerously delicious!

   We also went to a wonderful may day gathering. So sweet and calm and just all around lovely.

  The trees are whispering to me that change is in the air. All around. More and more I feel so smothered by the city, and we live in one of the most relaxed parts of it. I just envision a bit more space, more room to grow food and have animal friends, a studio space, and bedroom for the little one would be real nice. Working and saving and dreaming of the farm to be... xo m

love letter to David Robert Jones...

  Oh dear, please let me confess how insanely I Love(d) David Bowie. It was intense. I think the height of the frenzy of my obsession was about 10 years ago, I was a newly single mama, living alone with my little baby in a tiny studio apt. I was so very into Bowie and everything Bowie-esque. And glittery glam music... Eno, Iggy Pop, T Rex, Roxy Music... I bleached my hair till it was nearly transparent, shaved off my eyebrows, put together fabulous thrift store outfits, wore mismatched eyeshadow... I remember listening to "rock & roll suicide" and feeling so extremely empowered and comforted by the words... So I burnt myself out a bit on Bowie. But after a break of a few years I was really craving Aladdin Sane and put it on and, well, it sounded GOOD. Really good! And the kids love it a lot. Papa Bear is a little dumbfounded. Not a Bowie fan-doesn't really appreciate (poor him!) music with theatricality. It's been Bowie all weekend around here. Perfect sewing music....

   Somebody has become quite the dish washer. She LOVES it. I enjoy the help and company.

   We made solid lotion bars. I still have a large bottle of this herbal infused olive oil I made at the end of summer so I used that and kind of followed this recipe, although very loosely...

 Thrifting was so great last week. I found tons of early 70's fabric and I've already made my little lady 2 dresses (pics soon).

  I am oh so excited to go to my eye dr appt on thursday. It's pretty obvious I need a stronger prescription in contacts. Reading the computer has become  a bit of a headache and chore... I am quite far sighted... Hope the weekend was lovely for you!

my girl

  My littlest one took these pics the other day when she snatched my camera (I was weeding).

You can barely see me hidden behind the lilac sprouts, furiously weeding.